Stageplay!
by worldwithoutlogic
Summary: The Ouran High School Host Club is staging a play for a change. Hikaru's actions against Tamaki backfire, so who's going to live happily ever after?


_**Hi guys. Out of nowhere, i have decided to write an Ouran oneshot! yay! -claps-**_

_**Anyway, this is based on Sleeping Beauty(which i have unfortunately forgotten, thus it is not very accurate) with slight modification.**_

_**Like nobody gets to sleep for a looonnng time. Yeah, something like that.**_

_**Okay, enough of my rubbish. On to the story!**_

**_Warning: Lots of cheesy moments in this story. And strangely phrased lines. Sorry, but i stupidly relied on myself to check my grammar. :)_**

_**(I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or Sleeping Beauty.)**_

* * *

"So we're here for a meeting? That was why you conveniently dragged me out of the cafeteria and interrupted my lunch?" Kyouya asked Tamaki.

"Yes! I have decided, that since we're running out of ideas for our cosplays, the Host Club shall act out a play for our clients!" The King of the Host Club declared.

"What? I believe that we have got many other options that we-"

Tamaki ignored him completely, instead rattling on incessantly.

"Now, what shall we do? Snow White? The Princess and the Pea?"

After a few seconds of thought, Tamaki came out with a ludicrous answer.

"I know! Let's do Sleeping Beauty!"

Sudden silence enveloped the room.

"Such an ingenious plan." Haruhi sighed.

"I'll be Prince Charming! And let's make Haruhi Sleeping Beauty!" The blonde idiot exclaimed, ignoring the other club members' resigned looks.

"Oh no. Haruhi wouldn't want to have a prince like you. Why don't I be the prince instead?"Hikaru objected.

"You know it's just because you wanna kiss her later, isn't it?" Kaoru mouthed.

His brother waved a hand at him and glared at Tamaki, who immediately retorted to prove his way of thinking.

"You see, being someone's father is equivalent to being that person's prince charming. So, since I'm her father, it is only right that I get the role!"

Hikaru groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"And I thought that you got out of your trauma. Wake up, tono!"

Kyouya patted Hikaru's shoulder consolingly. "He's that dense. But he'll get it soon enough, albeit slowly."

Even at those words, Hikaru did not seem to loosen up, instead pulling his hair in frustration.

"Oh, you'll get to see who gets to be Prince Charming!" He said, before storming out of the music room.

* * *

So the play was set for the week after. The host club booked the auditorium for 200 people and wrote out the script. But something was still undecided.

One very major item.

"WHO IN THE WORLD IS GOING TO PLAY WHAT?!" Tamaki yelled in desperation.

"We can't continue if we don't decide now," Kyouya nodded in agreement.

"I volunteer Kyouya for the role of the evil witch," Hikaru said.

"And why might that be?" Kyouya asked, with a hint of venom in his voice.

"Just cause you're cunning. And evil enough to calculate my debt to the nearest 2 decimal places," Haruhi mumbled.

"What? Didn't catch that."

"Oh, nothing."

"Okay, but I object. Why don't we draw lots? It's fairer that way."

"I second this! After all, everyone gets a chance to be Prince Charming," Hikaru glanced at Tamaki.

The roles were written down on small pieces of paper and put into a box. One by one, the members solemnly walked up to the box and picked out a piece of paper.

Hikaru jumped gleefully at his role.

"I get to be Prince Charming! So there, tono!"

"But see who's Sleeping Beauty?" Hani said, stretching over to look at Mori's designated role.

"Hm. It seems that I'm Sleeping Beauty." the tallest of the hosts muttered, and Hikaru instantly turned a sickly green, obviously not wanting to be Prince Charming after all.

"But wait! I'm the Evil Witch!" Hani said, tears quickly welling up in his large light brown orbs.

"I'm positive that witches hate cake! And that's evil!"

At the other end of the room, more commotion was going on.

"I'm… I'm…" Kaoru stuttered.

"A Fairy?"

Tamaki wailed.

"So am I! How could such a talented being like me take on such an inferior role?!"

"And I'm… The King?" Haruhi said, reading out her role.

"So that means that you're the Queen, Kyouya-senpai."

"Ahh, yes. Well, since most of us are not satisfied with our roles, or is suitable to play them, to say the least, I say we redo the selection process. Preferably if-"

Kyouya stepped towards Haruhi and handed her a slip of paper.

"Haruhi is Sleeping Beauty by default."

Everyone else sighed in relief. At least no one had to deal with the prospect of trying to wake up a female Mori.

"Anyway, please draw your lots again." The bespectacled Shadow King said.

Mori took a piece out.

"I'm the King."

Hani gingerly picked a slip of paper out.

"Yay! I'm a Fairy! Fairies love cake!"

Meanwhile, in Tamaki's head:

"Oh gosh, oh gosh! No one has taken the Prince role yet. I hope it's me!"

And in Hikaru's mind:

The same.

Kyouya drew from the box.

"Apparently, I'm the Queen again."

Both Tamaki and Hikaru were shivering with anxiety now.

"Come on, it's just a play!" Hani smiled.

"It's definitely more than that! It's one of the only chances where we can get a go at Haruhi!"

The voices in Tamaki's and Hikaru's heads screamed simultaneously.

"Suit yourselves. Ah, I got the fairy again." Kaoru said sadly.

"Well, it's down to you guys. The lucky one will get to be Prince Charming, while the not so lucky one'll get to act as the Evil Witch."

Hikaru stretched a hand into the box and took out a piece of paper, and Tamaki had to take the last one.

"I can feel that the aura of this paper is somewhat strange. It's definitely not containing the role I want. Better change it before Tamaki sees his," Hikaru thought to himself.

"Tono! Can I exchange slips with you?"

"But why? You don't know what's inside, so why risk your luck?"

"Please," Hikaru looked pleadingly.

"Fine. But if my paper contains the Prince and you took it, I'll… I'll set synthetic whale leather on you!"

"I somehow don't see what's wrong with synthetic whale leather." Haruhi remarked.

"You definitely don't want to know," Kaoru said darkly.

After a lot of coaxing, Hikaru and Tamaki finally exchanged slips.

"Ah. This paper feels so much better. I bet it's the-"

"Hikaru. Since when were you so obsessed with auras?" Hani questioned.

"Oh, it's more of the intuition, you know?" Hikaru managed a feeble smile, as everyone stared at him in disbelief.

"Forget it. Time for the truth."

He grinned widely as he smoothened the folds of the piece of paper.

_Of course, my intuition can't be wrong, see, I got-_

"Oh. My. God."

"Ahhhh! I got the prince! Yes! Haha! Guess you were not accurate enough,

Hikaru."

Yes, Tamaki got the role of prince, much to everyone's exasperation.

"Haruhi's precious lips will not be poisoned by some barbaric person! I, the mighty prince, have saved her from a hideous fate!" Tamaki shouted happily, as he traipsed around the room.

"You do know that nobody's actually gonna kiss her, right, Tama-chan?" Hani asked.

"Wha? But..."

"Hey, but it'll get the club lots of profit! Just think about it: The king and the lowly peasant unite?! The starting of an unlikely relationship!" Kyouya pictured.

"I can't believe all you care about is the profit of the club. My feelings are involved here, okay?!"

"Whatever."

* * *

_After 3 days of rehearsal(host club members are naturally dramatic, thus lots of practice is not needed)_

"Welcome ladies, and gentleman," Tamaki said, nodding at Kasanoda-kun.

"To the Ouran High School Host Club play! Today, we shall be acting out the pain, the sadness, of  
Sleeping Beauty, when the Evil Witch dooms her to a horrible fate! The guilt, anxiety, of her parents, the royal family! All will be revealed during the play!" Tamaki said melodramatically.

The clients squealed in delight.

This is going to be so moe! Renge said, as she sat in her deck chair in a puffy dress. ("Probably cosplaying as someone from Uki Doki Memorial III, I presume," Kyouya said.)

"So, let the play begin!"

Kyouya flicked a switch and the lights blinked for a second, before going out.

He then pushed the button of the video recorder before hurrying to his, no her, throne.

_This would definitely sell out well._

* * *

_Once upon a time, there lived a king and queen. They had a child and named her Haruhi. At the naming ceremony, fairies from all over the land came to give their well wishes to the family._

"Ooh, ooh! It's my turn!" Hani exclaimed, running to the middle of the stage.

"Ahem. I shall bestow upon you, the gift of sweets and cake!" Hani grinned, placing an extremely large basket laden with confectionery in front of the cradle.

"Mitsukuni. Nobody can see the scene now. Please take away some cake."

Mori, who was sitting behind the large pile of sweets, whispered to Hani.

"I'm sorry! I gave too much cake! I'll take some back!" he cried, grabbing a huge cake that constituted half of the pile and dashed backstage.

"Awww!" Renge screamed in unison with the rest.

"Ok. My line." Kaoru said.

"I shall bestow upon you the gift of a connoisseur. You shall appreciate gourmet foods."

_But, there was one fairy who wasn't going to give her well wishes._

CRASH!

Tamaki took a piece of glassware and threw it onto the floor to make the sound of a breaking window, the rich way.

"Hahahaha. On her 16th birthday, she will choke on a piece of ootoro and perish!'" Hikaru droned, clearly not enjoying the role. Oh well, at least his part was almost done.

Kyouya and Mori gave horrified looks, much to the amusement of the hosts backstage.

"Oh- oh- Hahahahahaha! They look so funny!" Haruhi gasped.

Hani and Kaoru both stood in front of the King and Queen, consoling them.

"That may be so, but we can help! She would instead sleep for a hundred years, and in her slumber, a Prince Charming will kiss her, waking her up!"

Mori stood up.

"We must remove all pieces of tuna in the palace, and forbid her to go into the kitchens. At least, till Princess Haruhi's 17th birthday, when the witch's curse will be lifted!"

"Wow. This is the longest string of words I've ever heard Mori say." Tamaki said. "When will my turn begin!?"

"Patience, prince. It's Haruhi's turn first," Hikaru said, as he walked behind the curtains.

The curtains closed as everyone hurried around the stage, changing the backdrop and removing props.

The curtains opened again.

_16 years later..._

"Oh, i'll take a walk around the kitchens today. I've never actually been there before. Maybe they've got cake for my birthday!" Haruhi said cheerfully.

"Wow. Hani's gift of a sweet tooth is still bestowed upon her." Kaoru said.

_Princess Haruhi wandered around the kitchen, and saw a plate of raw fish._

"What's this? It looks weird."

Haruhi prodded it.

"And squashy too. Well, I'm gonna try it!" Haruhi said it a robotic manner(she was never good at drama), placing a piece into her mouth.

_At that very moment, a chef walked into the room and saw Haruhi eating the forbidden ootoro._

"Haruhi sama! Nooooo!" the chef shouted.

_But the damage had already been done._

_Haruhi choked on the ootoro and collapsed onto the floor, doomed to stay asleep for a hundred years._

"I think that she's really enjoying herself," Hikaru commented, as Haruhi continued chewing even as she fell onto the floor.

Kyouya and Mori immediately took out their eye drops and squeezed a little into their eyes, hurrying into the stage.

"It's time. For the major parts of the King and Queen."

They walked out and knelt by an absolutely still Haruhi, 'crying' in the process.

_The king and queen were notified and they wept, placing her on her bed where she laid there, still as a rock._

"Yes! The most important character shall now enter the scene!" Tamaki said, oblivious to Hikaru's black face. He dashed out, riding a toy horse.

_But, one day, a charming prince rode past the castle, and saw many people weeping. Curious, he entered the castle._

"What's wrong? Is there anything I can do to help?" Tamaki said with concern.

The king and queen continued crying.

"Gosh, those must be premium eyedrops," Haruhi thought, eyes still closed.

"Princess Haruhi has fallen into a deep sleep, for a hundred years! Only a prince can revive her," Kyouya sobbed, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.

"Ah! But I am a prince. I shall..."

Tamaki made a majestic face, as Hikaru's anger escalated to a dangerous level.

"Wake her up."

"Oh, that's it."

"Hikaru! Dont act without thinki-" Kaoru started.

But Hikaru took a slice of ootoro and threw it onto the stage.

"See if he still can hold his princely posture on stage. Hahahahahaha! "

"Woah. That really is a witch's laughter," Kaoru said, wincing.

Meanwhile, Tamaki was preoccupied with the current scene, oblivious to the ootoro in front of him.

"Remember. I'm not actually supposed to kiss Haruhi. It's just acting. No matter how much I think she looks so cute with her eyes closed like that, I will not touch her!" he thought, leaning closer and closer to Haruhi, till their noses were touching.

Suddenly he slipped on something. Something cold and wet and slippery.

Tamaki skidded forward, squashing Haruhi as he landed right on top of her. The force of Tamaki's fall knocked the wind out of her and sent both of them flying backwards, onto the cold hard stage where they sat in an awkward position, faces slowly turning a bright pink.

"What?!" Haruhi shouted, eyes as large as saucers, rubbing her thigh that hit the ground during impact. Tamaki was frowning at the piece of ootoro while Hikaru was busy smashing his head against the wall.

"Wow! No need for a kiss, Prince Charming's hug of life already awakened Princess Haruhi!"

The clients shrieked, not noticing that the "hug" was a total accident, as the colour of Tamaki's face steadily progressed from pink to a dark magenta.

I'm really sorry, Haruhi, but I somehow slipped on a slice of ootoro. I don't know how it got there, i swear! It just... appeared!

He turned towards the backstage, where Hikaru continued mutiliating himself, with Kaoru standing behind him, chiding him on how he should not act on impulse.

"Oh well, the show must go on!"

_Prince Charming's hug of life awoke Princess Haruhi, and the entire kingdom was overjoyed._

_And so, Princess Haruhi married Prince Charming and they lived happily ever after. _

_The end._

* * *

"That was so cool, Tamaki-kun! I'm buying the disc!"

"Me too! That was an astounding performance! So moe! You must do more!"

"And so the prophecies are true. The relationship of a king and a lowly peasant has begun," Kaoru said.

With that sentence, the rest of the day passed uneventfully with Haruhi and Tamaki being too embarrassed to converse with each other at all, Hikaru taking Tamaki's place in the mushroom growing corner, and Kyouya counting their 6 figure earnings from the sale of the DVD.

* * *

_**Alright, now that it's done, i shall continue with my other story(which is taking a really long time to finish.) I apologise!**_

_**Yup. So please review! Thanks. :)**_


End file.
